And God is helping me understand- I won't necessarily be suddenly struck by this overwhelming wave of love for the mass of people in Haiti. We get better at loving, like everything else in life, as we practice doing it. I just need to continue to love the people He puts in front of me each day. And He will captivate my heart for them one at a time. "I will run the course of Your commandments, for You shall ENLARGE MY HEART" (Psalm 119:32). His greatest commandment is, after all, to love. And as we do it, He grows our capacity to love and enlarges our very heart. What a beautiful thing.
Here are some sweet little faces to enlarge your hearts. :)
|Precious Marco :)|
|Some country kids.|
|The kids often fall asleep in the hallways like this at night. It's quite adorable.|
As I was praying in the wee morning hours for the people of Haiti and this whole cholera thing, which suddenly had just become much more real for me, I was imagining people back home telling me to come home, it's not safe, it's not worth the risk to your health, etc. And I told God how I'm not going to let this scare me off. I will not run from my calling because of this. I'm not scared. He did so many supernatural things prior to me coming here that confirmed to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what He is calling me to. It is not a coincidence that I am here during this time- He planned it this way. So as I prayed I was reaffirming my commitment to Him to stay here, no matter what the circumstances are.
After praying, I started reading my Bible for awhile, then I heard my phone beeping with a text message. I wondered who in the world would be texting me so early in the morning. I got up to check it, and saw it was from our dear Haitian brother Jacob. The text said, "Melissa, I had a blessing dream for you. Last night while I slept I saw you with a big crowd of children in a house next to the airport and you taught them some English songs, and they are all joyfully in a big yard and I saw a great Bible writing in the wall. It was Rev. 3:8. I don't really understand the meaning of the dream but God does. Let's pray for Him to teach us the meaning, but it was amazing."
I was pretty encouraged, needless to say, but as I looked up the verse I was totally blown away and started bawling. "I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name" (Revelation 3:8). Once again, on the day I was praying, God is so incredible to show that He hears. He says, yes, don't be scared about cholera. I have set before you an open door, and nothing can shut it- not even an epidemic. He is re-confirming and making so abundantly clear, once again, my call here. He wants to do a work in this city and by His grace He is letting me be a part of it. It was one of those intimate moments with God where you just know how much He loves you.
Walking to the market later that day, I was filled with this compassion and sadness for the people and started crying walking down the street. I am realizing how scary this cholera thing is for them. This nagging and very real fear, on top of the political situation, the poverty, the continuing affects of the earthquake, etc. makes for quite a depressing situation for the people of Haiti. I was thinking, man, if you don't focus on the sovereignty of God, it's easy to kinda get caught up in the grimness of the circumstances here and lose hope. But praise the Lord, He is sovereign and completely in control of all these things, and is working out a plan that is far beyond our understanding.
One of my Haitian friends was telling me prior to moving out here about how his uncle was praying and fasting for a lengthy time a few years ago about Haiti and crying out to God on behalf of the country, and asking Him when He was going to do something. And God finally spoke to him and said- "I will first bring Haiti to its knees, then I will raise up a generation that will bring a revival in this country." I think about that often, as it seems that the country is definitely in the process of being brought to its knees. I believe my call is to be a part of raising up the next generation in Jeremie to be world-changers, and believe with all my heart that God will bring a revival to this country in His timing, in His way, and the world will see it and the gospel will go forth. It won't be tomorrow or next year, but I pray in my lifetime He will let me see it.
He put this verse on my heart for Haiti before I came. "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined" (Isaiah 9:2). Jesus is that light!!! What a joy to trust Him. Don't look at your circumstances today. Look at your God! :)