Yet I nearly missed it... About a month prior to the engagement, I came to a completely surrendered place where I had counted the relationship a loss when I realized God wasn't calling him to Haiti. I felt God was calling me here and was committed for life, and I would follow Him, no matter what the cost, including singleness for life. And God in His graciousness intervened with some very wise counsel that helped me see more clearly and changed my perspective.
I have embraced that Haiti was a calling for a season of my life. I see how I got a bit off in my thinking. I used to be so scared of commitment that I couldn't commit to anything over 6 months in length. But over the past few years God has changed my heart so much that now my commitment level to things runs very deep. When I'm in, I'm ALL in. As I prayed, I felt God releasing me of the forever commitment I'd made to Haiti, realizing He'd never asked that of me. I had presumed on His timetable. And yes, He wants us to be committed, but to HIM, not necessarily to the thing or the place. To be open to the fact that He may redirect us, and often does, because He wants us to walk by faith and not by sight. So we usually don't see the end of the road.
I realized that my heart is bigger than Haiti, my heart is for the Great Commission. I realized there will never be another man for me like Dave, and I want to choose him with my whole heart, and that this is good and pleasing to the Lord. I've learned not to speak for what the future holds. Only God knows. "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9). I'm learning to start to think more in terms of seasons now. God has given me another 6 months in Haiti- a beautiful time to finish strong in this season of calling to this country. I praise Him for it. Next summer I will get married, the one thing I can say with confidence will be forever, or til death do us part. As far as the rest of what God has in store, we're just in the for grand adventure. :)
Ecclesiastes 3:1~ To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.